plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
