Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
