I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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