that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
