So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
