Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
love makes seman taste better
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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