I love having hate sex.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
