I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
