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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf

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• (779): View more from Illinois

  should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am

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• (209): View more from California

  So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.

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• (281): View more from Texas

  I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.

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