apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
