maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
