A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
