Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
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