More tranny stories later!
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
