why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
