does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
