& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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