More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
