Me. At least after what I've been through.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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