you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
i believe in u and ur pee
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
