ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
