We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Randomize
