I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
