some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
