i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
