is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
