i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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