Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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