Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
