i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
