Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
We left the knife in your bed.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I deserve this hangover.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
