Why does Corona taste like a burp?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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