WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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