turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
