thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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