Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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