found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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