Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize