yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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