guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
