omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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