Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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