god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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