I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
