You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
