Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I stole a fireplace last night.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
