so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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