I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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