Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I have feelings that need drinking.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
