i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
