dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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