I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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