you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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