I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
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