This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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