that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
