My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
