There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
