you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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