Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
they're like a gay fantastic four
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
