2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
