After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
