I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
