Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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