doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
