took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
The air was thick with penises
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Maybe he injected his testicle?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
