You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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