i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
