youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
